View Full Version : Jokes.

07-04-2006, 10:34 PM
Here are two jokes from EbaumWorld that I read today.


Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, "I had the worst Freudian slip the other day."

The other man responds, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?" "You know," says the first man. "It's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about.

Like the other day I was at the airport, and this really sexy lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I asked her for 'two pickets to Tittsburgh." The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the orange juice, but instead I said, 'You ruined my life, bitch!'"

Joke 2

An extremely ugly woman walks into a store with her two kids. The man at the counter asks, "Are they twins?" The woman says, "No, he's nine and she's seven." Then she says, "Why? Do you think they look alike?" "No," he replies. "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"

07-04-2006, 11:52 PM
awesome =P

08-04-2006, 02:24 AM
lol that first one is classic. :p

08-04-2006, 03:07 AM
2 blonds walk into a bar...... thought one of them would have seen it.
(hehe lamest joke :D )

urs are betta Wthigon.

11-04-2006, 11:47 PM
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"

11-04-2006, 11:50 PM
How could an airbag do anything at that sort of speed? They were only designed for slow collisions.

Yes, I love destroying jokes, hah! :p

12-04-2006, 12:30 AM
=P but its still funny in its own right